The #Metoo movement is a movement against sexual harassment and sexual assault. The movement went viral in late 2017. The hashtag exploded onto the scene on social media. This attempt to demonstrate the widespread prevalence of sexual assault and harassment was an important step forward for both women and men.
I found myself in a position of indecision. I first spoke up about my experience with a sexual assault as a child in my 30s. It had taken almost twenty years and the death of the perpetrator to permit me to speak up to my family. Speaking up as a child wasn’t something I knew how to do. Family members asked me “Why didn’t you tell us?” It wasn’t that simple. Being sexually assaulted by an extended family member who was a man that was loved, respected and had married into my father’s side of the family was a BIG barrier to speaking up. The trauma was severe enough but telling someone was not that easy.
My grandmother always said to my mother there was something about him she did not like. But no one took notice of her because she was old and he had embedded his good guy qualities as a family member. But I know I wasn’t the only one who he assaulted. For me, it was only once. But that was enough trauma for my brain to protect me. It did this by way of the memory becoming inaccessible in a healthy state of consciousness. I suppressed the memory of that night for it to be retrieved when the brain was back in a recovered state. It was the brain’s way of protecting me as a child. But many of us know that repression can also be just a band-aid solution and so for me as I hit my teenage years the trauma manifested as anorexia nervosa.
The help I received came in the form of early intervention, an involuntary hospital admission and therapy. As much as I did not like being hospitalised, in 1981 only a few experts had begun to understand anorexia nervosa as an illness. The treatment worked well to advance my recovery. However, it took another five years to say I was a recovered anorexic.
Unfortunately, my schooling suffered while I struggled with dyslexia in my early years, I had become a prolific reader in my teenage years, but with rumours and friendship changes I left school before finishing year 10. I went straight to work and enjoyed working very much. So my life carried on. I slowly worked at earning one qualification after another as an adult. So, don’t let anyone tell you that there aren’t other pathways into securing an academic education.
The reason I’m writing this now is as we come to the end of the year I reflect on my year, having been diagnosed with breast cancer and moving through surgery and radiation therapy I am very proud of the situations I have endured and powered on through. There is no shame in sharing your conditions or experiences. No shame at all.
I love who I am today. I have done many, many good things in my life. And I would like to emphasise that one event can change the direction of anyone’s life. Those situations can be good or not so good. But I have learned to make more of the good than the bad things in my life.
I will never reveal any more details about my experience. I received the best support and therapy my parents could find. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Often we experience a lot of stuff in our lives: s
While the #metoo movement was in full swing, I stepped back, choosing not to interact for my wellbeing. I was mindful of my triggers. I did not want to trigger any flashbacks. So, I avoided all information or stories on the subject for a while until I was ready to have a voice in the #metoo movement. As a professional in the healthcare industry, I knew what to do for my self-care. But I feel for each and every person, both male and female who has been a victim of sexual abuse or sexual assault. I know each person will have lived through an individual experience, no one experience is the same. All I can say is stay strong. We can and will support each other. Our kindness and compassion for each other counts.
So until next time… “Be brave and bold in your chosen field of creativity. And never be afraid to explore new techniques”
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