The Business of Christmas #strategies #compassion #selfhelp

Will this Christmas be a good one?

This might depend on what you are expecting, a BMW or a calm family get-together.  I often talk about expectations and motivation behind the quality of what we do in our life. I will remind you again of this. We are the masters of our lives. We get to choose how we will perceive the good and the bad in our lives.  Often people do not like to hear this because they are patterned to blame others for how they are feeling. However, you get to choose your response, yes? No one forces the words out of your mouth or forces you to throw that first punch, right?  I’m speaking from experience, having seen many types of reactions in my frontline work as a support worker. I treat both the victim and the assailant with the same calm and compassion. I treat the person who requires support for whatever reason with the same calmness and compassion. Sometimes a little directness is involved but that is used to help with guiding their attention to the here and now and prompt required action.

So what has this got to do with the business of Christmas? Often the lead up to Christmas can be a BIG DEAL. We have a lot to get organised, right? Where is our gathering going to be, at our house or another family member’s house? Then there’s the business of who is bringing what.  No, I want to bring the ham. Is there a vegetarian option included? What about the kids? Okay, not every family likes the idea of a sugar spillover on the day, right? Do we wear Christmas T-shirts or go formal? Oh, then there is the presents! Who gets the biggest or the best? Who gets the chance of a gift that will be regifted? Not to mention the process of buying the gifts amongst the sea of stressed-out shoppers. It is a non-stop whirlwind of Christmas preparations and outings.  Ah, now it is becoming the stressful business of Christmas.

Can you feel those anxious feelings rising?

Let’s look at reducing that stress. In counselling, we look at being solution focused but also client centred and often we will ask what has worked for the client in the past when dealing with anxiety or depression. Some will say, breathing. Others will say avoiding the triggers. Some will have worked out simple strategies to help support them in coping and these can be helpful in assisting a ‘right now’ situation. Here are a few strategies for helping with stress during the leadup to Christmas day.

1. Expectations can play a big part in increasing or decreasing stress.  Here’s where I say something you may not want to hear. You do get to choose the activities you wish to be involved in, right?  You do not have to attend every Christmas party nor do you have to attend every family gathering. Sometimes it’s healthy to say, ‘This Christmas I’m only going to two gatherings.” “And to add to that, on Christmas day I want to have breakfast, play with the kids and chill out at home with no relatives.” Nothing wrong with that.
   
2. Slow everything down. If you can explain to me in the most fashionable way why the tree has to go up, the ornaments on, gifts have to be purchased to sit around the tree all on the same day I will explain why that doesn’t have to happen. Why? Because you are telling yourself a bogus story.  Nothing has to happen fast. It will all get done and if it doesn’t? Queue song “the sun will come out tomorrow.”
   
3. Plan ahead. Lists are helpful to some people. Prioritise the ‘to do’ list. Some like the idea of a schedule of things to do.  Shopping. Food. Decorations. Travel arrangements.  And here’s where I believe in delegation. Hand over some of the responsibility.  If the list works well this year use it next year.  If not tweak it a little.
   
4. Exercise and Relaxation. Don’t you dare suggest to me that you have to stop exercising because of Christmas. Keep walking. Keep going to the gym. Keep enjoying those walks on the beach or around your neighbourhood.  If you don’t know how to relax then download an app  smiling minds or Breath2Relax   These are just two, but there are thousands to choose from.  Be active in your wellbeing and use something like this to help yourself. Don’t stop your exercise program if it’s something you enjoy. 
   
5. Get quality sleep.  Over the Christmas period, we eat differently because party food is more freely available or we are so rushed that our good routines are forgotten.  We drink more coffee and alcohol which means, with increased sugar, caffeine and alcohol our good quality sleep is reduced.  Time your intake of these substances early in the afternoon and not close to your bedtime.
   
6. Everything in moderation. That includes coffee and alcohol. Both of these substances are drugs. Yes, you’ve read that correctly.  Below is an extract from the drug wheel and you can see caffeine and alcohol are listed in their category.  So the good idea is to offer alternatives. Juice. Herbal tea. Decaffeinated options. Non-alcoholic options.  Here’s some information on stress, nutrition and diet.
   

Most importantly, have fun! This can be a time of great joy or great frustration. If you plan to have a relaxing and joyful experience and use some of the strategies above there is a good chance everything will work out for you and your Christmas experience.  The choice is up to you.

“Be brave and bold in your chosen field of creativity. And never be afraid to explore new techniques.”